Sunday, January 31, 2010

More to the Story

The blog post I wrote yesterday poked at my brain all night and woke me this morning with many additional thoughts/addendum's...

Inspiration, moments of change of growth come in various forms all throughout our lives. I have been learning, shifting, growing awakening into a greater state of self my whole life. I have consciously been "awakening" for at least the past 25 years. Each new awakening so to speak has given me more insight, clarity and connection. This desire to fully awaken is what lead me on my coaching path. I wanted to know more about the unconscious mind.

Everyday I have patients that come to see me that know what to do but they just can't seem to do "it" ( I know I should exercise but I just can't find the energy, I know I should stop eating the chips but I can't until the bag is gone, I know that I should be kind to my spouse but it is easier to blame them for all of our problems, I know, I know). Please understand that their desire is real, it is so painful to them yet they continue to play out the same pattern and find themselves right back where they started. The conscious mind is one piece of the puzzle and for many of us we can create a lot of wonderment with the shear will power of our conscious mind but what about the big stuff that keeps cycling back through unanswered, unresolved?

Yesterday's blog doesn't always just "happen" in a moment. My "defining moment" in all honesty is a culmination of 6 years ( or more) 6 years of actively being committed to actualizing my authentic self. I think this is important for all of my readers to know:
  1. We must be worth committing to and not give up on our selves when we don't get exactly what we think we want.
  2. Sometimes what we think we want is not what we want but rather our teacher to an opportunity to really listen and feel what our soul is telling us.
  3. If we are willing to explore what lies beneath the surface some cool stuff can unfold. What is beneath the surface, what comes from our inner voice is our unconscious mind, our connection to our source, to our soul. We can make an agreement with our self that in exploring this uncharted territory, what we discover does not have to be painful (even if it is from a source of original pain)...make your own agreement on what being an explorer of your authentic self is...hint...make it fun :-)

What do we do with the "stuff" beneath the surface? Well suggestion #1... welcome it. Suggestion # 2, thank it for giving you the opportunity to understand, to hear it's message and to move through it to where it is that you are ready to go...

Simple exercise to get you started...

Where are you at in your life now?

Where do you want to be?

Are they the same set of answers? If so good for you...stop reading this blog and go share your joy with others...if your answers are not the same and you have a desire on any level for something different than what you are experience right now go back to yesterdays exercise...

We attract NOT what we WANT, we attract what we ARE...

Where do you want to be? What do you want more of in your life... share that part of yourself now free of an expectation or want to need it to be returned. In other words, don't give a compliment just to get one back, don't buy someone something because you expect something in return. Be what you desire, be what you truly are, your soul is talking are you listening?

This is a beginning step on your exploration into the areas of your inner voice, your unconscious if you will. Just remember as I said in an earlier blog, to the extent that we are willing and able to listen to the message is to the extent that we will begin to truly experience more of the good stuff NOW. Since now is all we truly have isn't that the place where we should be living the good life?

Be what you desire, be what you truly are...Your soul is talking are you listening? Happy exploration :-)

Love & Gratitude,


Saturday, January 30, 2010

What Does it Take?

At the end of 2009 I was watching a Wayne Dyer special. I had seen this many times before but for some reason on this day, something he said really caught my attention like never before. He said; " We don't attract what we WANT into our life...we attract what we ARE into our life".

I immediately said what am I? Am I truly walking my talk in this life? Am I living in alignment with what I truly desire? My answers became so clear to me that I was not living what I was thinking, journaling and declaring every day. I was close but I was still making excuses &/or compromises; "if I just do this then that will happen...if I just get my space clear, if I just work this extra project, if I just, if I just...". I was keeping what I wanted the most at arms reach, so close that I could see it and feel it but also so close that I felt like I was going mad.

It was in hearing this statement and in having this realization like I had never had before that I knew. I knew if I did not make a true shift and really live from the source of what was in my heart then there would always be something. I knew that I would always be at the mercy of my life vs. fully living the life I am here intended to live. I personally could not stand for this non sense any longer and so my shift occurred like never before...

I lost my mother a few years ago and I often wonder if she died with her music still in her...I think she did, in fact I think it was in part because her souls music ( inner passion and purpose) went unplayed and unheard that she left...

What does it take to really make us listen to our inner voice, our inner music, light & passion? For each of us it is a different road we take on our journey. For me, this was my defining moment. I immediately began making the changes that I needed to in the areas of my life that I was allowing to always pop up and take me off course. I did not cut these out of my life, I simply put very specific parameters around these areas. I also put in motion levels of accountability like a deadline for my book and my web TV channel. I made a promise to myself ( your personal promises should be your most important...if you don't value, love and respect yourself and what you have to share than no one else will either) that I would no longer just have notebooks filled with my content, my ideas, my workshops & my closet filled with my products but that it was time to get them out to the larger audiences they were intended for. I also fully acknowledged that I am only one person and that I could not figure out and control all of the details. I decided to simply let the details work themselves out. I knew that I had to stay connected to my inner truth and do my part while everything else falls into place ( side is falling into place better than I could have ever orchestrated).

If you had no more excuses; you did not wait on another or on something outside of you to allow yourself to live and be what you desire the most, what would your life be like? Do you know what stirs your soul? What brings a smile to your face or when time seems to stand still? What is keeping you from BEing all that you are intended to BE?

What do you want in your life the most? Are you that? If you want love are you loving...If you want kindness are you kind? If you want wealth do you give and receive with ease? If you want patience are you yourself patient? If you want health are you supporting health in your body? What do you want and how ready are you to Be just that??? Don't wait for it to come to it now and notice how it just appears~

With Love & Gratitude to all of you~

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

If thoughts create our reality ,then what am I creating?

As I explore the science behind energy and that realization that all things both seen and unseen are energy I realize what quantum physics shares so eloquently that our thoughts are also energy. Now if energy can neither be created or destroyed but rather only change form then what form does our thoughts take the good as well as the not so good? Then the following popped into my head:

I remember about 15 years ago when I was in chiropractic school a friend of mine suggested I try affirmations. I was in my early 20’s and my own worst critic…to say that I had a lot of negative self talk going on inside of my head was an understatement. Well when she made this recommendation all I could think of was the Saturday Night Live skit of Stewart Smalley sitting in front of his mirror affirming “and people like me”…needless to say that did not “resonate” within me. Now I am not judging, I am simply saying my internal picture of what it meant to “affirm” just didn’t seem comfortable to me.

Around the same time I was given a book by Deepak Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. This book speaks of many universal teachings but one point that hit me at the time was acceptance. I did not accept myself let alone love or maybe even like and so this hit home. I combined my friend and Deepak's suggestions and began my path of sending in some good stuff to my brain...A.K.A....affirming.

I truly will never forget the first time I did it, I was laying in the tanning bed ( it was the 90's for crying out loud- everyone laid in tanning beds) and decided to try to say some good things to myself. I came up with a little rote saying of about 8 things; I love myself, I am intelligent, I am healthy, I feel great in my skin...etc. It felt like someone was running their nails down a chalk board. This process felt extremely uncomfortable and left me wondering how or why anyone would want to do this. I decided though that Deepak had some validity as he talked about acceptance so I decided to stick with it. I continued my little rote affirmation not believing a bit of it until one day I realized that it was not uncomfortable, in fact it felt ok and I actually felt energized and good about myself.

About 5 years later I had graduated chiropractic school and was not only a chiropractor but also a WCW Nitro Girl ( think Fly Girls of wrestling...we danced). I had been dancing since I was 2 and finally landed a great gig- dancing on televisions top rated show at the time every Monday night for millions across the country and around the stuff to say the least. I was with an amazing group of girls but let me say- 6 women together all of the time, need I say more? Well one day I don't even know how it came up but I said that I loved my butt...yes that's right my back side. One friend was very put off by this and thought me a bit full of myself for making such a statement. I explained to her that I was not full of myself but in a place of actually loving myself and told her about my tanning bed affirmation days and how far I had come.

What do our thoughts create? At one point in my life I found it hard to think of any good thoughts and my life was filled with alot of personal discomfort. As I grew into a greater state of self awareness I began to play with this principal and as my thoughts improved so have many things in my body, my health and my life.

I still love my butt and my Nitro Girl friend still thinks I am crazy ( but she loves me anyway) even with love and alot of positivity in my life I still have my moments. I have days that are challenging, stressful and even uncomfortable but now I know that I don't have to continue living/feeling that way , instead I have a choice to make a shift and realign with the good stuff.

Today's entry is meant to be fun as well as thought provoking...what are you thinking the majority of your day? What do you think could happen if you shifted even 5 minutes a day or your internal self talk to align with what you want to experience in your life. Our thoughts are powerful creators...what are you thinking?

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Back Up

So the other day I blogged about listening to our answers as we ask the question; "how do I want this to be?". A very interesting thought since that post:

What if we don't know how we want things to be?
This just hit me about 20 minutes ago but off the coat tails of a client that I was working with this past week. I had given him "coaching 101 homework" which was a few introduction questions to get his brain processing prior to our meeting. Some of the questions were;"What is important to you to get out of this coaching experience and why? and the other big one of course was if you are unhappy with circumstances in your life at this moment then "how are you ready for your life to be different"? For the sake of annonimity we will call him John. John came in and said, "Melissa I am so sorry but I did not do my homework", I told him that was ok and asked why? He proceeded to tell me that he felt so overwhelmed in his life as a whole and just felt so empty that he didn't even know where or how to start asking questions and understanding answers, he just knew couldn't continue living like he was living.

The pressure and pain that he was experiencing were palpable. So I asked him what was important to him in that moment? He said he didn't know. I asked him to close his eyes and to just trust whatever popped into his mind and asked him again. He paused then gave a little laugh and I said that what was "that"? He said I feel like I need to "pop". He said he saw a balloon and a pin. So I then asked how will you feel when you have popped? He told me relieved, calm, peaceful...happy. TADAAAAA there is our answer of How do we want things to Be...for John it was relieved, calm, peaceful and happy.

I share his story to share a point that sometimes in our lives we become a frog being slowly cooked to a boil... we are in lukewarm water...we get used to our surroundings, in his case he was so immersed in a painful life...the boiling water and didn't know how to jump out... we "live with things" because that is what we were taught to do..."deal with it", "keep it together", (feel free to insert your personal programming here... in fact pls comment if you have some to share). If this life we are living, relationships we are in, ways we are or are not communcating etc, is not in line with or allowing us to honor our true authentic self we will begin to feel things that may be painful. To the extent that we listen to our inner voice is to the extent that we will either stay aligned with our highest path and purpose or we will ignore and continue existing in the luke warm water on our way to being cooked. Our highest self does not want us to just exist and suffer a slow death so to speak so if we do not listen to our inner voice and continue doing what we are the painful way we are living ( pls know pain is relative to each person and their personal situations)...if we choose not to listen then the body will step in and make the message louder by creating physical symptoms. ( This is a potential deep conversation point so I will elaborate more on this in the book vs. blog space).

Please know that journey into be-ing is not all about life being bad to inspire growth or change; what about those of us that our life is great. The outside world looking in would say, "she/he is so lucky"... she/he seems to have all of the things; car, house, clothes, relationships... ask her/him how they feel, the answer... guilty. Guilty for wanting to listen to that inner voice that is calling for more ( if this is you I invite you to share your story with me confidentially, at

Whether you are in a painful place in your life or a great place wanting even more greatness it is the feelings that you are feeling that will allow you to begin to understand how you want/need to answer the questions..."how do you want to be?" For John it was relieved, calm, peaceful, happy...for my numerous clients that have been living in guilt many of them just want to feel free... These are your valuable insights into you, into creating new understandings, new definitions, new moments, new awareness of how you are ready to be now...

Gratitude and Love to you...Melissa

Friday, January 22, 2010

New Awarenesses

In less than 24 hours my world has begun to change... Each moment has become a new opportunity for understanding this journey, this book. I did not plan for this to happen, it just is happening and inspiration is stuff!

Awareness 1: Make sure that when you declare something to yourself, to your soul, to the word around you, to the universe that you are truly ready for what is to unfold. As we ask, so do we receive and the gifts are unlimited opportunities to experience more of what we say we are ready for...

Side Note to this awareness... Sometimes we think we are ready to make a shift, a change and in many ways we are but our desire to change, grow, shift is conditional. For many of us if we don't get the answer in the way we want it then we stop the flow and go back to doing what we were doing, yeh sure maybe it wasn't great but it wasn't terrible so we will just keep doing what we were doing before this "declaration" began. If you have done this, as I have, know that it is not a bad thing, it is simply a choice but please remember the explanation of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result... are you ready?

OK so the cool inspiration that I received yesterday: Step 1 in writing a book or making any change or putting anything in motion that is important...The question, how do I want this to be?

I know that I truly intend for this book to be more than just "educational" I don't want to be just another coach or guide that people read, get something out of and move onto the next. I remember reading works by Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyre and wondering if they had bad days. I was completely inspired by their teachings yet somehow always felt as though they were so elevated; so on some level within me as the reader there was a disconnect.

My vision, my intention is to create a piece that truly connects with my readers on an "everyday real life" level as well as the deepest soulful level. I want my readers to know that we are all together, we are all one; different yes but at our core the same and together we can truly BE and live in the ways that fully express our authentic self.

With that said I have been wondering how do I do this?
Awareness 2: LISTEN
The answers are always within us if we choose to listen. Sometimes we are afraid of what we might here but if you know you need to shift, if you know you are called to be something even greater than what you have been; in order to move into this being space we all must LISTEN...

My fun story...Yesterday I was given a great opportunity/reminder on the importance of listening... A wonderful neighbor stopped to chat with her two dogs. There was a group of us talking and she turned to me and said, "Melissa can you help ( we will name the dog for sake of anonymity) Jake. I said sure thinking at first she wanted me to check his spine and see if he needed a doggie chiropractic adjustment. Then she told me that my husband ( the most amazing man in my world) told her that I am a "dog whisperer" and that Jake had been having some problems.

Let me say that animals do communicate...if we are willing to allow ourselves to listen. The interesting thing though is when we do something out of our norm or our comfort zone it is easy to doubt/second guess our inner voice. I spent about 20 minutes with the doggies and their owner and it was truly amazing. I listened with my inner voice that when it comes to animals I get feelings in my body or words just pop into my brain that are not mine...I simply share the feedback... During this time, we were able to determine exactly what he wanted/needed his owner to know. I know this because as soon as we got to the "heart of the matter"Jake the dog "came back to life" so to speak. He was wagging his tail, he was up and giving kisses ( prior to this he was laying down and lethargic) and the energy of the whole family was a cool experience to share in.

Now some of you might think I am crazy and maybe I am but the big lesson to remember for myself as the student of this self coaching process is that if we listen the answers are there...the question becomes what do we do with the answers once we get them????

The journey continues...Happy Weekend~

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Declaration

Today begins my journey not as the coach but rather as my own student. 8 years ago I had a defining moment in my life... I was emotionally at a very low point; recently divorced and experiencing a career shift of astronomical proportions not knowing what was next. Unsure if I could move forward and if so where to begin or better

The great thing about life's scary moments is that they become incredible opportunities if we allow them to be. As I sat on my living room floor 8 years ago wondering, angry, sad & scared; even through the muck I was somehow certain that I was more than this depressing moment. I knew that I was free( as terrifying as that was at the time) to create my life to be... What did I want to be? What was I ready to feel, to experience, to do more of, to do less of- the list of exploration questions began to grow in my brain and hope, energy and possibility followed suit.

With this desire to awaken- to connect to my truth and to transform into being more of what I was ready to be I took pen to paper and created. I still have the big over-sized drawing pad and color markers that I used that day to remind me of my vision, my path... 8 years ago in my living room I tapped into my vision of what lay firmly in my heart and the path of my soul...I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that my purpose was great ( boy did I set the bar high and potential for failure probable) and that I was to create a multi media based company dedicated to educating, energizing and enlightening people on their personal journey of transformation living.

And so I jumped in and began my Transformational Living Company; Flow Unlimited. My task was to create multi- media based platform that would allow for products and workshops that could be shared with large groups all over. My list included DVD's, Meditation and Coaching CD's, Journals and the big one for me... A Book.

A-HA the reason for beginning this blog. This is the year that I am going to write my book. For some reason I have always in my brain said you are not an "author"... you are not a "writer" well if any of you know me, you know I am a lover of quantum physics and universal principles...if I say I am not...then I am not...Our words do help to firmly create our reality (more on this in future blogs). So here we go my friends... A journey into BEing all that I am here to be...

If I know one thing about myself it is that I am better when I am accountable so this blog and all of you will keep me accountable. I give you each permission, if I am slacking- not sharing updates then write a post...tweet me ( ok I am not on twitter yet but soon to be so I will confirm that soon too) or FB me...This is for me but it is also for each of you my readers. It is my intention that through sharing my journey the good and possibly not so good that I will help to share a greater state of awareness...As we become aware we are then able to better connect to what is in our hearts and we connect to our own personal truth and move in accordance with that our Transformations are limitless...

So what do I firmly declare? Regardless of limiting thoughts I may have had in the past What is it that I am ready to be NOW??? I declare that I am an author of my upcoming book...Journey into BEing...Transformational Living.

In invite you to share in the journey with me...if it inspires you then I ask that you share the inspiration with other...together all things are possible~

With Gratitude...Melissa